As an aid to generating better PR writing, the PR Writer Extraordinaire blog will occasionally examine the good and bad at Canada Newswire.  The first release contains numerous missed editing opportunities.

(Name removed at request of company) reaches milestone during Canada’s Fraud Prevention Month

MISSISSAUGA, ON, March 26 /CNW/ – (Name removed) reports that as part of it’s “Identity Defence & Privacy Project”, it has cracked its 500th case of internet fraud reported online since it’s inception in early 2007. This is an especially important milestone to achieve during March, which is internationally designated as Fraud Prevention month. The reports consisted of almost twenty-three serious identity theft claims and over 300 website spoofing and hacking attempts. Additionally, (name removed) received complaints of over 150 unique fraudulent emails requesting personal identifiable information and even a number of child pornography complaints.

Vs. the PRWriterExtraordinaire version

Attention Business/Technology/Consumer Editors:

(Name removed) reaches milestone during Canada’s Fraud Prevention Month

MISSISSAUGA, ON, March 26 /CNW/ – (Name removed) reports that as part of

it’s its “IdentityDefence & Privacy Project”, it has cracked its 500th case of

internet Internet fraud reported online since it’s its inceptionin early 2007. This is an

especially important milestone to achieve during the March, which iscelebration of the

internationally designated as Fraud Prevention monthMonth.The reports consisted of

almost twenty-three serious identity theft claims and over more than 300 website

spoofing and hacking attempts. Additionally, (name removed) received a number of child pornography complaints and

of over over150 unique fraudulent emails requesting personal identifiable

information and even anumber of child pornography complaints.

Comments: Surprising that CNW permitted use of “it’s” where “its” was clearly indicated. Personally, I prefer quotes in the American fashion with the comma first followed by the quotation mark. With Canadian spelling withering away, the US spelling of Defense has not quite stamped out the faux Brit Canadian version: “Defence,” though either can be used. Most commentators say “more than” and “over” are interchangeable because of the ease of saying “over” in speech but I prefer the more accurate “more than.” Other than that, there were some basic editing opportunities missed in this release, as the track changes indicates.

LOTTO 6/49

LOTTO 6/49 draw is estimated at $15 million! Players can purchase tickets at OLG retailers until 9:00 p.m. Ontarians win often, and win big with LOTTO 6/49. Since LOTTO 6/49 was launched in June 1982, Ontario players have won more than $8.1 billion in prizes including 1,113 jackpot wins.

Comments: Wins the award for the story least resembling a news release on Canada Newswire today. An ad, sent out over the wire. Wonder if they believe anyone will use it? Instead of “1,113 jackpot wins,” the last word could be eliminated and it could read “1,113 jackpots.”

NATIONAL BANK FINANCIAL

TORONTO, March 26 /CNW/ – Chris Hodgson, Executive Vice President and Head of Domestic Personal Banking, Scotiabank, will present at National Bank Financial’s Canadian Financial Services Conference in Montreal on Wednesday, March 26, 2008.

Comments: It’s the way it’s supposed to be. Nothing creative but who/what/where/when/why and how, the journalistic basics, executed correctly.